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Eastern’s Top 5 Silliest Clubs

        Alright, so you may have already noticed that Eastern is not exactly your average Christian school in east Pennsylvania.  So naturally, you may have noticed that we do in fact have a LARP (live action role play) club as well as a “Humans Vs Zombies” organization here on campus, but most students do not know about some clubs that exist here.  Some may even destroy your faith in humanity by how downright absurd they may seem.  Others may make you giggle, but be wary!  These clubs take themselves very, VERY seriously.  But nevertheless, here is the top five silliest clubs at Eastern.

#5.  THE VCR CLUB:  It’s natural to collect a certain thing over time, be it stamps, postcards, porcelain chickens, you name it.  But VCRs?  You know, the things that play VHS video tapes?  Well, Eastern has a dedicated group of collectors who have amassed a collection of eighty-something unique VCRs, and over sixty VHS rewinding machines, all stashed away in a neat display somewhere in Kea-Guffin.  This club prides itself in its diversity of classic VCRs, ranging from Panasonic to Sony to Samsung.  There is no initiation fee, however, club president Ryan Berryhill requires an extensive knowledge on VCRs to join the club, as only pure VCR enthusiasts are permitted to join.

#4.  THE ELEVATOR CRUSADERS:  This unique club on campus has one rule: ride a different elevator a day and log it into their online database.  Since the club was founded in 2006, the elevator club has rode on over 440,000 elevators in 37 different states.  An impressive feat considering the club has only had 47 members all time, and only 11 active currently, including 3 alumni.  They claim to have rode on every single elevator within 50 miles of campus.  They take a monthly major trip, “The Crusade” as they call it, where they go into major cities and ride as many elevators as they can.  Notable places include Chicago, Boston, Atlanta, Sacramento, and last semester, Houston.

#3.  THE 4-SQUARE TEAM:  Little known to us, but Eastern actually has a competitive 4 Square team.  In fact, Eastern has finished in the top 35 nationally the past four years!  Most of us vaguely remember this game as a fun thing to do on the playground at recess, but these guys take it up a notch.  Diving, shoving, spiking- it is not your father’s game of 4 Square!  Team Captain and Eastern Junior Daniel Ammerdale looks forward to this upcoming season: “We have a really great team this year, and we think we can be in the top ten this year, no doubt in my mind.”

#2.  THE OPTIMISM COUNSELLING CLASS:  Pessimists of the world, this is the club for you!  Literally learn how to look at a glass half full!  Seriously, this is one of their three techniques they use when counselling.  This cheery, bright-outlooking bunch will train even the most cynical of individuals into a happy go-lucky romantic.  Their most effective technique is sitting you down in an unreasonably comfortable chair and make you look at a glass cup partially filled with water, asserting you that it is indeed half-full instead of half-empty, using convincing statistics and logic.  And if you tend to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, this determined group of psychotherapists can help you with that too!

#1.  THE LEGO VS LINCOLN LOGS BATTLEFRONT:  Most people can reconcile with their childhood and say that both Lego and Lincoln Logs have held equal merit.  However, this club strongly disagrees.  In fact, in order to determine the master toy race, these people actually have full out battles, complete with strategies and a turn-based attack system (much like chess).  However, before these weekly battles ensue, the two teams build their weapons and fortresses in advance, attempting to gain the upper hand.  Believe it or not, despite the Lego army’s seemingly unmatched possibility, the Lincoln Log team has won more battles all time.

        There were several other clubs that would have been on the list, but lost their club status when membership declined.  Some of these clubs were the lobster club, who took care of a live lobster, the Morse Code Blind Dating Club, who used to set up live date with the one rule that the two people dating had to communicate in Morse code, and the Orange Peel Club, a club dedicated to eating orange peels.  It just goes to show you that if something exists, there are college students doing it in a club.

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