Christian dating is about more than ‘I do’

Everyone would like to think that they are going to marry their high school sweetheart. Some might think such a wish is cheesy or trite, but consider this: many Christians go to college with the intent of finding a spouse.

The church’s marriage mindset continuously pushes its youth from casual dating into serious courtship. It stands behind this false idea that, since it is unlikely that people in our generation can ignore their carnal passions, we should hurry up and get married. The church wants us to avoid lust with the premature onset of love.

It’s no wonder that Christian college students think that going on one date is the start of a full-fledged relationship and that they’re going to spend the rest of their lives in happy, holy matrimony.

Paul says in Romans 7:9, “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Some people in the church have twisted this passage to argue that if you are so sexually tempted and cannot help yourself, the best option is to simply get married.

But this was not Paul’s point.He did not think that all couples with sexual urges should get married before they do something they’ll regret. He was actually telling the people in the church not to get married at all if they could help it, but if a person really wanted to experience all the blessings of marriage, including sex, he or she should find a spouse.

Paul wouldn’t be pleased to know that people are twisting his words to push their own agendas.

It isn’t all the church’s fault, of course. We, as young adults, have taken the ideas imposed on us and have run wild with them.

The truth is, there are a lot of Christian men and women going to college to find “the one” rather than “the One.”

Everywhere we go, we should be seeking God’s face—not marriage. Getting married is an important milestone in life, sure, but so is college. We need to stop putting so much pressure on the situation. We should have fun and keep it low-key while still maintaining our integrity.

Christian college students need to stop planning their weddings and start focusing on the other things God wants to bless them with.

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