Opinions

What Grinds my Gears: Campus Edition

Making Time for Campus Events: “So, did you hear about that thing that’s coming up? It looks pretty interesting. I think I might want to go to that. Say, isn’t that coming up soon?…Wait, what? That’s today? Yeah, sure, I’ll go with you…No, I just have this academic journal I need to start, but I think that can wait. This sounds like something I wouldn’t want to miss. No, I’m definitely down for it, sounds like a good time…No, I’ll meet you there. Great, see you there.”

The Auditorium: Where are those guys? They should be here by now. We’re supposed to arrive early, right? They’re bound to open these doors soon. I want to make sure we get good seats…“Wait, what did you say?…Oh, no, I’m fine, thanks. I don’t want any snacks right now, and five dollars is a bit much for a Snickers and a cup of fruit punch.”…Sheesh. You’d think they’d at least have opened up the doors by now. The show starts at 7 p.m. They’re not actually going to wait until the last minute to open these doors, are they?…They’re not going to do that. That would be ridiculous…They totally are, aren’t they?…Yup. I’m just going to have to wait out here. Man, I should have brought a book, or at least some homework…“Excuse me, miss, how much did you say the Snickers was?…Well, that doesn’t sound like too much.” (begins to gorge on Snickers) “Mmm, oh, that really satisfies. So, how much for the fruit punch?”

The Gym: Wow! That’s a lot of people! Must be a good speaker!…“Hey! How long is this line!…Huh!…What’d you say?…I can’t hear you…What, this is the line for refreshments? No one told me there would be refreshments! I already had an ice cream cookie sandwich at Walton!…No, yes, I’m stepping out of line! Which is the line to get seats!…Is there even one!…Wait, hang on, I’m getting a call from my friends.” (answers phone) “Yeah! What! Hang on! I can’t hear…I can’t hear you…Hang on.” (goes outside) “There, that’s much better. My ears are still ringing. So, where are you guys at?…The bleachers. Well, that sure is helpful…What?…The left side of the bleachers…That makes so much sense…No, no, I think I’ll be able to find you. Yeah, alright, I’m coming in now. See you then.” (hangs up, walks inside) “Hey! Can you tell me where the line is to get seats?…This is the line! No, the other guy said it was for refreshments!…It’s for both?…No, sure. It’s no problem. I can get in the back of the line.” Whoo, well, this had better be worth it. “Say, what’s the topic of discussion?…Human sexuality?”

The Field: “Hey, guys. Did I make it in time? Oh, the game’s been going on for a while now. Oh, well, how much did I miss?…What do you mean?…What do you mean literally nothing has happened?…No one’s scored a single point…So, who are we rooting for?…The ones in red? They’re both red…Oh, the ones in burgundy. What’s burgundy?…Oh, I should just root for the team my friends are on…Listen, I don’t mean to be rude, but I cannot tell who anyone is out there.”…Sheesh, this looked so much better on Eagle Vision…“So, how long is this going to go?…REALLY? That long?…You know, guys, I’m gonna go. Just, uh, call me when it gets good.”

After the Event: “So, what’d you think of it?…That good, huh?…Who, me? Well, I’m not really sure what to think of it. No, no, it was definitely worth my time. I’m glad I went…Yeah, well, I’ll see you around. I’ve got this academic journal I need to finish. Yeah…You know, in hindsight, I should’ve been working on that. No, I should really get started. I can’t put this off any more…What?…Oh, really? When’s that happening?…An hour from now?…No, sure, I’ll be there. Sounds like a good time.”

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