Page 3 – The Waltonian

Iam the only daughter of a single mother and have lived my whole life completely saturated in femininity. I watched Say Yes to The Dress instead of cartoons, I watched rom-coms instead of Star-Wars, and I never once believed that the women in my life were anything less than super-humans. I lived in my beautiful, girly bubble for around 12 years, and then I got on the internet. At this point, I had years of boyband fanhood under my belt – from the Jonas Brothers, to Big Time Rush,
even to The Wanted, I knew my way around a boyband.

So of course, when I was in sixth grade and armed with my first laptop, I decided to join the ranks of the One Direction fandom. I had never really interacted with other people on the internet, so I was not at all prepared for what I would find.

Maybe you’re not familiar with what I experienced, so I’ll do my best to explain. I walked into a digital world bright-eyed and excited, with basically no expectations. I knew that I would find funny things, beautiful things, and people who were like me, and I did, but all of that was hidden under a layer of filth.

There were grown men who would find pre-teen girls like me on the internet just to antagonize them for things they cared about. They called us stupid and frivolous, and insinuated that if we were interested in things like One Direction, we had nothing else to offer.

My friends saw interactions like these too, and decided to jump in. I would go to class, church or parties, and be teased simply for liking a band. Of course it was nothing major, and to be honest it meant virtually nothing, but as a middle schooler I was already tired of having to defend my interests.

This pattern has followed me everywhere throughout my life. I have been treated like an airhead for caring about clothing, called hysterical when identifying sexism, and weak when for feeling deeply. Again, none of these insults have scarred me in any way, but there has always been a common thread to all of them – my womanhood.

Never once have I been made fun of for being interested in baseball or sneakers, because my male peers cared about those things too. It has always been the parts of me that categorize me as a woman that I have been teased for, and almost exclusively by men.

If this were an isolated incident maybe it would not be an issue. Maybe I was too girly and needed to have a dose of reality dished to me about the other things in the world. Except, it’s not. As a society, we do not value what women care about at all. When something is popular with the young, female demographic, we are quick to label it silly, or call the women who care about it “basic b*tches.” Not only do we demean the thing itself, we repeatedly put down the woman who cares about it.

Women and girls are socialized to believe their interests are stupid unless they are otherwise approved of by men. They walk around with the shame of knowing that what they care about is widely found immature by their peers. Minimizing women’s interests is one of the most pervasive, yet ignored, forms of sexism in our society today. Teaching women and girls that what they care or think about is unimportant is destructive to their self-confidence and silences them from voicing their thoughts on other things. It keeps young girls from speaking up in class and intimidates women from applying for ambitious jobs. The freedom to be openly passionate about your interests that is reserved for men continues to evade women even in 2019.

So, ladies. This is for you. You can like whatever band you want to, even if strangers on the internet think it’s frivolous. You can stand up for whatever you want to believe in, even if your friends think it’s pointless. You can wear whatever outfit you want to, even if the guy you like thinks it’s stupid. Stereotypically masculine interests are no more important than your stereotypically feminine ones. Being proud of what you care about despite the opinions of others is a scary, radical act, but it is a privilege you deserve.

Growing up, I hated my hair. It was big and unmanageable, and I cried every time my mom combed it. I saw girls in magazines and on TV with long, shiny, straight hair, and dreamed that someday I could look like them too. I couldn’t braid it or straighten it – all I could do was put it in a bun or wear it down.

My mom had curly hair when she was a kid, but eventually grew out of it. I prayed that I would too, but it has not happened yet.

For many years I had no idea what to do with my own hair. I did everything I thought I was supposed to do, except, none of it worked. I would follow all the tips my friends gave me, and it was still always frizzy and unruly. In middle school, I completely gave up on having “pretty” hair.

Then when I was in high school, my friend’s sister became my hair dresser. No one had ever asked me what I thought of my own hair before or what I would like to change about it, but she did. I told her it was too frizzy, too wild and too tangled, and she sympathized. She introduced me to the world of deep conditioning and explained processes that could help. I started following her instruction. More conditioner, more hair masks and less layers. My hair become soft ringlets that have now evolved into one of my favorite things about myself.

Now, I have tried all sorts of moisturizing products. I have oils, masks and two different kinds of conditioner that I use daily. I still can’t brush or straighten my hair, but now I know how to other things with it. I can’t say I’m always at peace with my hair, but in general, I’m pretty fond of it.

These days, I use a very specific yet ever-changing cocktail of products for my hair. Almost every piece in my puzzle revolves somehow around moisturizing. I try to avoid products that use words like smoothing, or worse, straightening. Products like this are not made for my hair, and only claim to do what society says I should with my hair, instead of actually doing anything good for my curls. So instead I opt for moisture, which is what makes my hair smooth and my ringlets tight. I am almost always willing to try a moisturizing oils, like argon or coconut. These sink deeply into the follicles and moisturize down to the core. I can’t use them daily for fear of having oily hair, but an occasional use is good, if not necessary for me. I am also a conditioner fiend. I love deep conditioners, leave-in conditioners and conditioning masks. Again, they sink deep into the hair and maintain the kind of texture I want.

At the end of the day, do what you want with your hair. There are so many ideas of what hair should look like, feel like, act like, but they do not work for everybody. They certainly don’t work for me. Instead, I found what I wanted for and from my hair, researched how to get it, and now do my best to keep it that way.

I lived in my beautiful, girly bubble for around 12 years, and then I got on the internet. At this point, I had years of boyband fanhood under my belt – from the Jonas Brothers, to Big Time Rush, even to The Wanted, I knew my way around a boyband.

So of course, when I was in 6th grade and armed with my first laptop, I decided to join the ranks of the One Direction fandom. I had never really interacted with other people on the internet, so I was not at all prepared for what I would find.

Maybe you’re not familiar, with what I experienced, so I’ll do my best to explain. I walked into a digital world bright-eyed and excited, with basically no expectations. I knew that I would find funny things, beautiful things, and people who were like me, and I did, but all of that was hidden under a layer of filth.

There were grown men who would find pre-teen girls on the internet just to antagonize them for things they cared about. They called me, and most other girls like me, stupid and frivolous, and insinuated that if we were interested in things like One Direction, I had nothing to offer.

Trivializing women’s interests is one of the most pervasive yet ignored forms of sexism in our society today. Teaching women and girls that what they care or think about is unimportant is destructive to their self-confidence and silences them from voicing their thoughts on other things. It keeps young girls from speaking up in class and intimidates women from applying for ambitious jobs. The freedom to be openly passionate about your interests that is reserved for men continues to evade women even in 2019.

Queer Eye is one of many successful Netflix Originals, and has just been renewed for a third season. It features five gay men who travel around the Kansas City area looking to help others. Each of the five men specialize in one thing – Antoni in food, Bobby in interior design, Karamo in self-love, Jonathan in beauty and wellness, and Tan in fashion. With their skills, this group goes into the lives of nominees and spend a concentrated week working to help them better themselves in all areas of their life.

Queer Eye is an important show for a host of reasons. The show is a champion for representation, both in the Fabulous Five themselves and the people featured on their show. The Fabulous Five is made up of five gay men – Antoni, Tan, Jonathan, Bobby and Karamo. Moreover, Tan is an Pakistani man and Karamo is an African-American man, both allowing for men of color to be given representation on the screen. The power of representing people who are both gay and men of color is incredible for marginalized groups.

Overall, Queer Eye is a bright spot in a dark society. The show is free of judgement and hate, and instead radiates positivity, self-love and self-improvement. In a world that can be stressful and exhausting, it is so valuable to have a space to forget about all the bitterness in our world and instead focus on the wholesome ideals of the show. What if we all took the time to focus a little more on how we take care of ourselves how our spaces feel, how we eat, how we look and how we see ourselves.

Not everyone get the opportunity to have their lives revitalized by the Fab Five, but what if we did their work for them? What if we took the time to take care of ourselves as if it were literally the job of five men? How many things would be addressed, changed or improved in your own life if that kind of specialized attention was paid to your well-being? Queer Eye gives audiences the inspiration and tools to care for themselves deeply and holistically, as we all should aim to do.

After the third season premiered, I found myself watching about an episode a day of the show. Soon, I challenged myself to incorporate one of these aspects into my own life per day. I started with the Bobby aspect – my space. I cleaned up, organized and fixed everything in my room that I had procrastinated taking care of. Soon, my dorm felt completely new. The next day, I treated myself the way Jonathan would, by doing my whole skin care routine and a hair mask. As the days progressed, I spent each one focusing on a different aspect the way one of the Fab Five would – I channeled my inner Karamo by affirming myself and spending time doing what I love, pretending I was Tan and dressing myself in an extra cute outfit, and ate food that made me feel good like Antoni would want me to.

Queer Eye aims to give people who need a little push in their lives the tools they need to sustainably care for themselves on a daily basis. The show does not look for quick, drastic changes to completely transform a person’s life, but instead seeks to help them in continuously creating a life they are happy in, and I believe that’s a goal we can all get behind.

Eastern University invited students to celebrate Inauguration week by baking bread alongside one another and President, Ronald Matthews. There were two sessions available for students, with one being open to faculty members.

The volunteers were walked through the process of baking a simple French bread – first combine honey, yeast, salt and warm water before stirring together and letting sit. Then, fold flour into the mixture, knead, shape into a loaf and let rise. The simple process was simplistic enough for anybody to follow along, whether they had baking experience or not, but also engaged everybody who attended.

Attendees were able to enjoy one another’s company while they created their masterpieces. They littered the conversation with jokes and laughter as they commented on the bread, their own and their neighbor’s.

The activity was led by Efram Harkins, the Assistant Director of Conferences and Special Events at Eastern. The Eastern website says that the activity was inspired by Matthew 25:45, “Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’” This verse coincides with the theme of Inauguration week, transformational love. In keeping with that theme, students were provided with multiple opportunities to serve the community. There were bread baking sessions available to students, which were followed by a “Day of Service and Beyond” on Saturday, March 23. The bread that was baked was distributed both to the YACHT club and Cityteam’s Hope Cafe, in Chester, PA. Cityteam is a service learning partner with Eastern University that works to combat hunger in the area.

If students missed their opportunity to bake bread with President Matthews, there are still plenty of ways to continue to serve and show transformational love. One option would be to volunteer in the YACHT club on campus, which also works with the homeless. Club members pool their leftover meal swipes every week to collect food from the Dining Commons, before assembling bagged meals. Then, the club goes into the city of Philadelphia to distribute the meals. This gives them the opportunity to serve the “least of these” in practical ways, as well as establishing a relationship with them.

Students can also help others by serving in other ways. There are a host of organizations and ministries off-campus, such as Whosoever Gospel. This organization works to provide the homeless population of Philadelphia with all the necessary resources they need to be successful. The Whosever Gospel ministry website says that they “seek to offer the love of Jesus and the hope of the Gospel in both word and deed to those who are hurting.”

Service is an integral feature of Eastern’s ideology as it perfectly intersects with both the faith and justice component named in our motto. Serving others in tangible, beneficial ways is one of the greatest ways we can work to better our world, and the opportunity to do so as a community is an excellent symbol of servanthood.

Sources: www.whosoevergospel.org & www.cityteam.org

Every generation believes theirs is the best. From music to fashion to social issues, almost every group feels that theirs is superior, and in some instances, they are not totally wrong. Some would say that the 90s were excellent politically, or that the 70s had the best music, or that the 80s had the most fun style. Every generation has something distinctive and special about it that can never be replicated by anyone else.

However, these unique aspects come with a cost. When the punk era hit the 1990s, parents did their best to shelter their children from Doc Martens and angsty lyrics. When Rock and Roll was introduced, the older generation was terrified of defiling the young people.

Almost every major cultural movement has had push back from the older group in society. Whenever a new idea or style is introduced, the parents of those leading the charge become nervous that this time, it really will be the end of life as they know it. But why does it seem that Millennials to Gen Z get such a particularly bad rap?

Every day another article is published about how Millennials have killed yet another industry, or how Gen Z kids are being corrupted by the internet. Repeatedly, these groups are attacked by those older than them for being too lazy, too sensitive, too impatient or a whole host of other versions of “too something.”

However, I disagree. I can only really speak for Gen Z, but I believe we have so much more to offer than the generation before us thinks we do. We are more than Snapchat and a need for instant gratification, but so often that’s all we are seen as. Gen Z is living in a completely different world than our parents have ever known, and we are navigating it completely on our own.

With the rise of social media, our world is constructed completely differently than it has been at any point before. Most Millennials can remember first getting access to the internet and can trace the rise of it throughout their lives, but most people from Gen Z do not have that memory. To us, the world is entirely interrelated and connected, and it always has been. All we have ever known is the world at our fingertips, or more accurately, on our screens.

Maybe we are too absorbed in what is happening on our phones, and maybe we do not know how to wait anymore. Maybe internet trends are killing our brain cells and the music we listen to is corrupting our worldview. However, I would argue that the same things some may call problems with our generation are the same things that make us so great.

No generation before us has known as much as we do as quickly we do. A tragedy can happen halfway across the world, and within hours there are droves of people supporting, praying for and donating to those affected.

There is a sense of unity we experience when we’re all doing the same silly things simultaneously, like the “In My Feelings” challenge or the #tenyearschallenge. Our impatience means that when we are stared down by injustices, we do not sit by idly and wait for someone else to fix it. Our generation has been the one to organize both the fight to solve Flint’s water crisis (Little Miss Flint), and the March for Our Lives movement (students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school).

Every generation holds good and bad inside of it, but so often I feel that Gen Z is pigeonholed into the negative view of it our elders have. Yes, there are many things about our age bracket that are odd, unproductive or possibly damaging, but I believe it is far more important to acknowledge and celebrate our achievements.

It does not help anyone, young or old, to reduce an entire generation to only the worst parts of themselves. As Gen Z, we have so much to offer as individuals and as a generation, and even though we will inevitably do things differently than those before us have, that is how progress is made.

Source: pewresearch.org

In my experience, college has been a really interesting and exciting period for my relationship with my mom. We have always been incredibly close, so at first, I was worried about what might happen when I left for school. I was nervous that we would grow apart, and I was not sure what I would do with her being so far away from me. However, all my fears have been proven wrong. Our relationship has morphed and stretched in ways I never would have imagined, and may never have happened, if I had not gone away for school.

When I lived at home, I was the typical teenager. I loved my mom, but often felt smothered by her or was bored by our conversations. I wanted to get out of the house, make my own decisions and not have to answer to anyone. It put a lot of strain on our relationship, and I think by the end of last summer, we were both ready for me to go.

Now that I do not see my mom every day, talking to her is more exciting. I look forward to updating her on my life and hearing about how things are at home. Between our busy schedules, it is a special thing to get to sit and talk to her for fun. Also, now that we do not live in the same house, we are able to have more adult conversations. Instead of only being her daughter and living under her rules, my mom and I can share our lives as equals.

Stephanie Druid, a sophomore biology major and women’s lacrosse player, shares a similar experience. “I think I appreciate my parents more now than I did when I lived with them. It’s easier to take them for granted when you’re with them all the time, and I definitely did. But now, I’m kind of going back on that and appreciating them more for all they did for me in my childhood, and what they’re continuing to do for me as a young adult. We’ve always been close, but I maybe didn’t appreciate them as much. I did appreciate them, it was just different,” said Druid.

Many students seem to agree that going away to school has been good for their relationships with their parents in unexpected ways. Some appreciate the extra space because it gave them the opportunity to really appreciate their parents while others found that the distance helped to dissolve some of the issues their relationship may have had before. “I’m a lot closer with my mom specifically because, you know that phrase ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder?’

When we’re close together we butt heads a lot, but now that I’m away from home, I think that tension has dissipated. I also think that we’re more like equals too though, because now that I’m out of the house, she doesn’t really have to worry about taking care of me or anything like that,” said Alexa Swantek.

Moving out of your parent’s house presents unique issues and situations for everyone, but I for one am grateful for the experience, to watch as my relationship with my mom has grown and changed during this transition.

The Philadelphia Museum of Art is renowned for their impeccable art collection, and their impressive reputation stretches far outside of Philadelphia. Their website says, “We are committed to inviting visitors to see the world—and themselves—anew through the beauty and expressive power of the arts.” However, this experience comes at a cost. On an average day, an adult can be admitted to the museum for $20, and students with valid identification are allowed to enter for $14.

On Wednesdays, though, there is an exception. Every Wednesday evening from 5p.m. – 8:45p.m., the museum operates on a “Pay What you Wish” admission charge, meaning visitors can get in for however much or little money as they are able to give. The Philadelphia Museum of Art website says, “We suggest you start at a penny but support us with whatever amount you wish.”

This discount offers the opportunity for anyone to see the museum. By hosting it in the evening, people who work full-time jobs have the opportunity to see the museum when they have the time, instead of missing out because of work. No matter who you are or what your financial situation may be like, Pay What You Wish Wednesdays allow everyone to take advantage of the gift of art.

Creating times and spaces for art to be accessible to everyone is important to society, because of the role of art in our culture. Art captures the human experience in unique and valuable ways that everyone should have the opportunity to experience. Art can also offer a unique perspective on both current and historical events, and it is important for citizens to be able to appreciate that important aspect of our culture.

Eastern students can take the train from the St. David’s station to the Pennsylvania Ave and 24th Street station, and then complete the trip with a two-minute walk to the museum doors.

We live in a strange paradox between two worlds, a digital one and a real one. Sometimes, however, it can be far too easy to lose ourselves in one world. The digital world is easier – there’s no pressure to say the right thing on the spot, you don’t have to worry about your real-life responsibilities, and the same pressure of human interaction just isn’t there.

The internet, especially social media, can be a simple escape, and though sometimes that can be nice, have you ever taken social media interaction too far? Perhaps you’ve gone to briefly check a Facebook notification and completely forgotten about what you were doing in the first place, or you’ve decided to “take a break” on your phone, and next thing you know you’re out of time to do what you really needed to get done. While it’s not that you wouldn’t procrastinate without social media, it can be important to take periodical breaks to connect with what matters to you. Here are three tips for establishing healthier social media habits.

1. Recognize the truth.

Think about how you use social media. Are you completely honest, or do you only let the world see the fairy tale parts of your life? If you’re entirely transparent on social media, kudos to you. You are much braver than many of your fellow media users. For the vast majority of us, however, social media is where we display only the highlights of our daily lives. We post photos marking significant events, gushing about our loved ones or celebrating our successes.

You rarely hear about tragedies, disappointments and failures that every human being experiences. Everybody on the planet has bad days. We all get lonely. We all have regrets. We all have faced loss. To remain sane on social media, you must remember those basic truths. What you see is not the whole story. That person that you feel like you’ve watched “win” at life for years now does not always feel as happy as they look in that photo. Their lives are just as flawed as yours, and your life has just as much beauty as theirs. The first step to letting go of social media is letting go of perfection.

2. Don’t get so caught up in your performance.

The thing about what social media tells you is that not only does it affect your view of everybody else’s lives, but it also puts pressure on you to make your life look like that. I admit to it, there have been many times where I have gone somewhere or done something simply because I wanted to post about it. While they have been wonderful experiences, I cringe when I think about the fact that a motivating factor in doing them was to show my followers how “exciting” I am. The world is large and abundant, and all yours to explore. Explore without fear of doing it wrong or not getting a good picture. Live an extraordinary life because you deserve an extraordinary life, not because you want to impress people.

3. Try things, allow them to make you forget about your phone.

Sometimes, when I’ve been on my phone too much, I get lost in and forget to do anything outside of it. Last month, however, I took up embroidery. Odd, I know, but as someone with little to no artistic skill, it’s been an easy way for me to do something creative while maintaining my pride. There have been multiple days where I look up from my project and realize I have absolutely no idea what time it is, or where my phone is. When I do check back in with my phone, I find myself refreshed and feeling prepared to deal with whatever my notifications may have in store for me.

Doing something productive and stimulating that doesn’t involve critical-thinking or my emotions is relaxing for me. Finding entertainment within myself is one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life, and I wholeheartedly believe it could be for you as well. Give it a shot – try new, random, entirely un-cool things, and let yourself get lost in them the way you get lost on Instagram.

Originally published on www.thecommuter.org

Many of us have a tendency to talk down to ourselves. Recently, I have caught myself saying “I’m so stupid” and “I hate myself” time and time again. It is quite common for people our age to say these things in a joking manner; self-deprecation is cool and humorous. We craft humorous tweets about our crippling depression and self-hatred, or equate ourselves to garbage. While I find these jokes humorous and believe they have a time and place, I also believe we need to create a habit of speaking kindly to ourselves and those around us in order to keep sight of our human value.

An affirmation is a statement in which we remind someone of who they are. When we affirm someone, we tell that person what we see in them and what we wish them to know about themselves. An affirmation says, “I am here and I see you, and I want you to see you, too.” Affirmations focus our attention on positive self-reflection, so that we can consider the statement and truly see who we are. Sharing affirmations with one another cultivates a supportive community of friends. In the midst of all the negative messages we receive from advertisements and social media, affirmations are kind to us in a way that is so rare.

As beautiful as it is to receive affirmations from others, we can all benefit from affirming ourselves. Oftentimes, we struggle with things nobody else knows about. Sometimes there are things we need to hear or choose to believe about ourselves. When you tell yourself the truth about that thing that is bothering you, it becomes easier to undo the false perceptions we all carry with us.

One of the greatest sources of insecurity is lies. It’s those things you believe are true in your darkest, weakest moments – “I’m not intelligent,” “I’m not attractive,” “people don’t want to talk to me,” – the things that can be detrimental to our self-image. These harmful beliefs get repeated through our minds over and over, and every time we experience something that makes us think those thoughts, the idea only becomes more immovably true.

Despite how concrete these defining thoughts can feel, affirmations can combat them. Telling yourself the truth about who you are is so much more powerful than the lies that have permeated our sense of self-worth. It is important to be ready to defend yourself and your confidence by refuting those thoughts with actual, real, truth.

In those times when you feel worthless, be sure to remind yourself you are not. When you feel stupid, tell yourself you are smart. When you feel annoying or unwanted, remind yourself of your innate worth. We have to be our own biggest advocates, especially when life gets hard.

Affirmations are important, both to hear from ourselves and our friends. Remember to be kind to yourself and the people around you.