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Whip Your Tassels Back And Forth

The class of 2012 is in for a special treat at this year’s graduation ceremony. The hit singer Willow Smith will deliver a motivational speech that is sure to encourage seniors as they embark on a perilous journey of post-grad woes. Smith’s twelve years of life experience is sure to stir passion in worried hearts.

“Willow Smith is my hero,” senior Emily Silvestro said. “She’s taught me a lot about moving forward in the face of haters.”

Ah, haters, those notoriously cynical bad-mouthers who will stop at nothing to ruin your day and quite possibly your life. Sometimes haters are third-grade bullies and other times they are employers with rejection slips. For some, like Silvestro, there isn’t much of a difference.

“One time, I visited my little cousin at school and one of the kids called me ugly, but instead of getting into an argument with a child, I just whipped my hair back and forth. He left me alone after that. Whenever employers tell me that my qualifications don’t fit their needs, I do the same thing. It helps me take my aggression out in a more positive way.”

And positive is exactly what Willow Smith’s music is all about. Confidence and swag go hand-in-hand, but some are concerned about underlying messages of inequality in Smith’s music.

“She tells all the ladies to whip their hair whether it’s short or long,” senior Kara Doriani and president of S.A.G.E. (Students Advocating Gender Equality) said. “That’s great, but why exclude the men? They, too, should be encouraged to whip their hair in the face of difficulties.”

Even so, Willow Smith is sure to be a great addition to Eastern’s long list of graduation speakers. After all, her simple call to “just whip it” is a phrase to live by for seniors as they take their first steps into the great unknown.

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