There have been countless individuals who have approached me with inquiries regarding the origin of my article. “Stephen,” they would say, in a formal address. “Why are you so easily annoyed?” “Where does the natural hatred for things/others come from?” “Do you really despise ‘Glee’?”
Though these questions are legitimate (besides the “Glee” one, since that should be blatantly obvious), I find myself with a lack of answers.
The reasons I find myself so inclined towards the dislike of so many things are plenty. For popular culture, I am “boiled” at the drastic change of the definitions of “entertainment” and “talent.” For social situations, there are just some types of people who consistently force me to slap my hand over my forehead in annoyance. This is the place where I vent about these feelings of disgust, loathing and aggravation.
So, it is with this understanding that I have compiled a current “Top Ten” list of things that “boil my egg.” I figured that, since The Waltonian and David Letterman have made their lists in the past, I want to be a part of the system. You may feel free to approach me and concur with my ideas, or use this to your advantage when attempting to destroy my sanity. Without further ado, here is…
The “What Boils My Egg” Top Ten Boiled Eggs List.
10) Referring to smaller candy bars as “fun sized.”
9) Drivers who do not use their turn signals.
8) Drivers who use turn signals, but decide not to turn (I feel no sympathy for your newly-broken tail light).
7) Donald Trump.
6) People who neglect to say “please” and “thank you” consistently, despite having been taught table manners.
5) When teachers distribute workloads without the consideration of other course loads.
4) The rising prices of everything worth paying money for (movies, games, food, etc).
3) When people use the term “literally,” when they literally mean to say “figuratively.”
2) Google, and their slow takeover of humanity as we know it.
I hate to leave you on a cliff-hanger, but my most boiled egg will be…revealed in the next issue! It deserves the full space, full attention and full ventilation. However, this does not detract from the boiling hatred I feel for the aforementioned items on my list. The rage will continue, but for now…
Consider these eggs: boiled.