1. When you come back to school, it’s great to catch up with friends and hear about their summer adventures. Except when you’re not sure whether or not your greeting is worthy of a hug. You stand there awkwardly, looking at each other thinking, “Well, we did spend all of that time in lab together last semester, but I don’t see her going in for a hug. Maybe she doesn’t think we’re close enough.” It’s okay. You’ll eventually settle for an even more awkward side hug or some similar variation.
2. At first, you’re super excited to move in to your dorm room. You have a great roommate and setup. Then you slowly begin to reconsider the building that you’ve selected. You think about the athletic smells coming from Gough and the far treks to Eagle and Sparrowk. Kea is too loud to get your homework done. You regret your decision immediately after falling down any three of Gallup’s choice hills. Don’t forget the white-hot-intensity-of-a-thousand-suns that is Guffin in the summertime or the classic smell of Hainer. For those who chose Doane, good job. You’re now known as “the others.” Yes, you should have applied for off-campus housing.
3. Over the summer, you got used to cooking for yourself, eating with your family, or eating the food of whatever exotic country you went to in order to ‘wake up the world.’ Good news. Now you get to return to an all-you-can eat buffet from 7:30 AM to 7:00 PM. The Walton Dining Commons is now available to fit all of your dietary needs. With great atmosphere, candle lighting, and supreme tableside service, you can now dine to your heart’s delight. There is no need to worry about what to have. All food is carefully and individually prepared and engineered to fit your specific taste preferences.
Lenora Kirkland 
Miss Information 
Kylie Smith