The Art of Humor
Jared Maier “Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!” You have just read the funniest joke known to mankind. It is guaranteed to make anyone…
Jared Maier
Gamers Unite! Introducing Eastern’s Smash Club
It is 11:31 p.m. The whole room hums with the sound of seven TVs, but all eyes are on one of them. Two opponents passionately mash buttons as their onscreen…
What Grinds My Gears: Last Thoughts
So I’ve been sick for the past few days, and it has been driving me up the wall. I mean, this whole thing has just been nuts, and…wait. What’s that…
What Grinds My Gears: Nothing
Hello. How’s your day going? Is it going well? Mine’s going pretty smoothly. Why, just the other day I…oh…right. I shouldn’t talk about how good my days are. Here, I…
The Waltonion: Eastern Mobilizes Task Force to Remove Rogue Robins
ST. DAVIDS, PA — Robins. These little bundles of feathers have been appearing all over campus since the start of spring. Up until now they have meant us no harm,…
Faculty Spotlight: Prof. Jenny Tibbels
If you directed a play, the first thing you would consider is how to tell your story. Our Director of Theater at Eastern University believes the story is told through…
What Grinds My Gears: Sheer Exhaustion
The following excerpts are from the secret undergound files of Doctor Gerry Stearson, from “the Institution That Sometimes Notices Outrageous Troubling Realities Everyone Always Looks Past.” Case File: Patient 74b…
The Active Voice: A Course Review
“There are no observers here…You are an active participant,” Professor Teresa Moyer told me as Active Voice class began. This is basically what it comes down to. Professor Moyer says,…
What (Does Not) Grind My Gears: Snow
Disclaimer: First off, yes, I do know I am wearing a black facemask around campus. Yes, I am aware that it makes me look like a ninja, lunatic, assassin, Batman,…
What Grinds My Gears: Eastern Online
MyEastern: This page is an assault on my eyes. Along with the slide show of Eastern’s photos, the multiple colored drop-down menus and the Announcements menu are enough to make…