Why we choose to wait: abstinence as a real option

Some say sex is the best part of life. Others say it is simply a natural function and not worth stressing over. I say sex is natural and great, but meant only for the marriage bed.

Abstinence before marriage is a narrow path that leads those who take it into a deep personal relationship with God, and one heck of a sex life with their spouse.

The love of my life, Alycia Scarito, and I are currently courting. Marriage is our destination, abstinence is the road and God is the guide who will get us there safely.

God has made us sexual creatures. Rather than populate the earth in the same manner as he did with Adam, God provided a hugely intimate and binding act.

Genesis 2:24 reads, “Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

But today, a “buffet” approach to sex binds people to their sexual desires. Sex is reduced to a mere natural function, and we become about the same as, say, a zebra that wants to mate with another zebra simply because of its sexual nature.

Abstinence, on the other hand, reveals that sex and love are not mutually exclusive. It brings into a relationship a love that surpasses the senses.

1 Corinthians 13 reads, “Love does not insist on its own way, but bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.”

The very nature of waiting testifies to a person’s desire to put their partner’s life before their own. Sex is a mysteriously wonderful act that allows two people to please each other and be pleased. This can only happen to the fullest if the two love without selfish agendas.

My girlfriend and I are shamelessly attracted to each other on multiple levels, including the physical. We also recognize that these attractions only mature as time wears on.

To say that we do not struggle to abstain from sex would be untrue. But we acknowledge the difficulties rather than avoid them as a part of fighting for sexual purity. In so doing we look forward to the day when we will be ready to give to one another our full selves.

Indeed, there is an overwhelming sense of peace and joy in knowing that the person you are with is reserving their most intimate embrace for you, and vice-versa.