Dr. Shane and Dr. Tony: Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo are perhaps the best spokesmen for our University. For some students, Shane is the reason they found out about Eastern, for others he is the reason they found out about dreadlocks. Both hold speeches on Eastern’s campus at least once a year. When they do, you can bet Shane will probably tell that story about that time he worked with Mother Teresa and Tony will probably tell that one about that surprise party he threw for that prostitute in Hawaii.
No one visiting the Bradstreet Observatory: It’s been around for decades, yet amongst Eastern students, the Bradstreet Observatory is one of the best-kept secrets since the bathroom in the prayer chapel. It’s run by Dr. Bradstreet and his beloved assistant, Steve Sanders. Occasionally you might look up at the roof of McInnis and remember fondly of when your tour guide took you up there way back before you were a student. They’re clever people those admissions counselors: they take you to the coolest place on campus and fail to mention that practically the only way you’ll go back up there again is if you are one of the 80 students that take the astronomy course each year.
Horribly polite small talk: As Christians we can feel guilty about not loving our neighbor enough, and unfortunately sometimes we make up for this by engaging our neighbor next to us in line in menial small talk. There’s really no effective way to dodge polite small talk from a smiling Christian without looking like a jerk, so you’re held captive by those “What’s your major?” conversations – which, let’s be honest, we all hate but continue to have nonetheless. Towards the last year at Eastern the popular question to ask becomes “What are you going to do after college?” You have no idea, and you tell yourself you’re never going to ask that question to another human being, but before you know it it’s half way out your mouth and the person you’re talking with now wants to fight you.