Dear Friends,
In the orientation issue of the Waltonian, Eastern’s females were given some insight into the kinds of guys they would meet here (see Six Guys You Meet At Eastern). Well, now the guys can know what they’re getting into. Here are five kinds of girls to watch out for.
THE GIRLS WHO: WANT TO GET MARRIED
We all know these types of girls. The ones that come to a Christian school to find their future husbands. Whose motto is “Ring by Spring.” Let’s be serious, ladies, your future husband can be lingering anywhere, not just at a Christian campus. Guys don’t want to hear that you want to marry them by spring semester. The only thing they care about during spring semester is the holy month of March Madness. You can scare a guy off by being one of these girls. But there are so many of these girls that it’s an epidemic.
THE GIRLS WHO: STALK A GUY’S FACEBOOK
Girls are using facebook as a weapon against guys these days. When this type of girl sees a guy she thinks is attractive, she hops on facebook for the search of the century. She scampers back to her dorm and gathers her roommates around the computer like they’re about to watch the premiere Sex and the City.
If your profile is private, good for you, but when she sees this she’ll question what you’re trying to hide from the Eastern network. That said, when you do accept her friend request she will be looking at everything even harder now. She will see every girl you take a picture with and every girl that you have friend requested in the last month. Don’t forget those tagged photos–they can easily label you as a “ladies man.”
THE GIRLS WHO: WANT TO “FIND THEMSELVES”
These girls won’t date you because they feel that they have to “find themselves” before they find a guy.
Listen, girls, a guy’s first reaction when he meets a girl is not to spend the rest of his life with her. We just want to date you. So how about you go find yourself, and when you’re ready we’ll use an excuse: “Sorry honey, my team lost this Sunday. I have to go find myself.”
THE GIRLS WHO: REALLY HATE MEN
These are the girls that think every guy is a dog. This may be true for half of the male population, but some men actually have a heart. These girls just don’t give guys the benefit of the doubt. They can’t imagine that some individuals of the male species can be different. No, every guy won’t get you flowers and sweep you off your feet every weekend. But every guy is his own person. Give us a chance. Dating can actually be fun.
THE GIRLS WHO: WANT TO DATE JESUS
Girls, face it, no guy will be as perfect as Jesus–so stop looking for him. Of course we want to be a man that has Christ-like qualities, but the truth is that there is no guy that can possibly be that perfect. A guy could have twelve “home boys” like Christ, but that probably still wouldn’t be Christ-like enough for you. Let’s just be realistic here, a nice guy should be enough.
Well, there it is. The truth.
– Walt