Dear Walt,
So, there’s this girl in my Bible class that I think is really cool, but I don’t know how to get her to notice me. Any thoughts?
-Mr. Invisible
Dear Invisible,
Ah, first-year love. Try to sit near this girl when you’re in class, that way any time the professor wants you to discuss something in groups, she’ll have to notice you. Sitting beside her also lets you slide some jokes in during the lecture to let her know what a funny guy you are. Or you may have that occasional, but crucial, eye-contact moment.
If this doesn’t work, see if she wants to study with you for an upcoming exam or go to chapel or Windows on the World. Use that Bible connection in any way you can.
Dear Walt,
I was assigned to do a group project with, how should I say, some of the less-motivated people in my class. The project is twenty percent of our grade, and I’m concerned because my partners aren’t doing their share of the work. What should I do?
-Scared for her GPA
Dear Scared,
I have been in this situation more times than I can remember and I know how frustrating it can be. If your group is especially lazy and you are getting stuck with all the work, do not hesitate to approach your professor about it. However, sometimes they make you work in groups to force you to handle conflicts like this.
In that case, you need to talk to your classmates and hash it out. If they’re not doing they’re share, you have my permission to be mean.
Dear Walt,
I’m a fairly neat guy. I know this is kind of petty, but my roommate is driving me crazy! His side of the room is always trashed, and his mess is slowly moving to my side of the room. I’ve just about had it. How do I tell him he has to at least put his dirty shorts somewhere other than the futon without sounding uptight?
-Febreeze Freak
Dear Freak,
Take a garbage bag and dump all of your roommate’s stuff in it. Tie the bag up and either throw it on his bed or in the nearest bathroom or shower stall. Or take it straight to the dumpster–your call.
This method is legendary and perfect because you get your point across in a practical joke-type of way. If your roomie doesn’t want his stuff piled beside the urinal, he’ll start cleaning up more.
In addition, the smell that erupts when he opens the bag will be unforgettable.