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Introducing New Travoltaeeze Major

The Oscars passed a few weekends ago and as always, the Hollywood red carpet was filled with America’s favorite actors and actresses; one of these actors was John Travolta. He came out to introduce Idina Menzel but instead, shocked all of America when he said, “Adele Dazeem.” There was no typo on the cue card, and he did not pronounce her name wrong. He was speaking Travoltaeeze. This is a new language that made its first appearance that night at the Oscars. Since then, Eastern has put together a new major specifically for Travoltaeeze. I know some of you more close-minded, naïve, selfish readers are asking, “If I choose to change my major to Travoltaeeze, how will it help me to develop a career?” The real question you should be asking is, “Why would I ever consider declining this opportunity?” At Eastern, our focus is on faith, reason, and justice; with this in mind, a group of students have decided that they want to begin the translation of the Bible into Travoltaeeze, in order to spread the word of God to all the many men and women who speak it. I am a second semester senior, but I have decided to follow my newly discovered passion and switch my major to Travoltaeeze. Please consider this major for yourselves; it is a wonderful new addition to Eastern University.

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