What Boils My Egg

I warn you now. What you are about to read is not a Waltonian issue from the past, nor are you suffering from a high-end hallucinatory substance. This is not a dream. The eggs are back in the pot, and ready to boil. I have returned to share my complaints about the inane and the insane. So, without further ado, let’s jump right into the scary, dark place that I refer to as my mind…

You know what really boils my egg?

Social networking sites. It seems like, at least once a week, someone sends me a tweet/text/email/Facebook message asking me to be their friend on some site that does the exact same thing as all of the others. And each time I see one, my fingers hover over the Delete button on all of my devices.

“But, Steve, you have to check out (insert URL here), because you can post funny pictures of cats, witty puns on current events, and where to eat the best tapas in town!” I understand, friends. New things are shiny and fun, like aluminum foil and balls of yarn. But the trend has to die at some point. How many sites do we need to “connect” with others?

Some of these sites do have their positive qualities, such as LinkedIn: a networking site for those seeking employment. But it is only a matter of time before people start posting about their adorable pets/cute babies/significant others amongst their resumés. I do not hate these facets of my friends’ lives. However, I also do not need to know their dietary problems.

And what is it with everyone feeling the need to “check-in” constantly? “Hey Steve, I’m at Linvilla Orchards with three of my friends, and the world must know of my every step!” If you want to tell your parents, your siblings or Spiderman, about your whereabouts for your safety, try the novel idea that revolutionized the 20th century: a phone call. Anyway, you’re most likely using a phone to post that picture of the “scariest haunted hayride ever!”

That being said, the “interwebz” will never cease to update every minute, like a high school senior during exams week. And I accept this fact, with umbrage and defeat. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go re-post this on my LiveJournal and Xanga.

Consider this egg: boiled.