Tearful graduation goodbyes are financial conspiracy

Graduation is associated with any number of emotions: anticipation, joy, excitement, relief, anxiety, terror and at times, overwhelming heartache. It’s the last of these emotions that I have to question.

After all, the hard cold purpose of going to college is to get a better job than you had in high school.

But somewhere along the way, the purpose got all warm and fuzzy.

As a second semester senior, moments of reflection that conjure up anxiety over job hunting and paying off student loans are just as likely to involve sorrow over saying goodbye to everything about Eastern.

I become inconceivably emotional over a message on the rock, I smile as I pass that kid I always pass on the path but never knew his name and now probably never will and I even find myself thinking fondly of the grumpy but “good-natured professor” who used to be an incarnation of Satan.

The phenomenon goes further as my circle of friends widens. Growing instantly closer to those people that were previously mere acquaintances is irrational.

I never cared about them before. And they never cared about me. So why now, when, in all likelihood we will never see each other again?

Clearly it’s all a conspiracy, carefully constructed by the ever-devious alumni association.

The onslaught of emotions has kept perfect time with the upcoming pleas for alumni dues.

Wring our hearts in hopes of eventually wringing our pockets. They’ve got us right where they want us: thinking sentimental thoughts about college life, forgetting those moments of extreme stress, the deadlines, the broken hearts, the broken friendships, the bad cafeteria food. Then again, maybe they do have a point.

After all, weren’t the times spent at Eastern University the best years of our lives?

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