Kea-Guffin to be bulldozed

Water dripping from the ceiling, mildew and asbestos creeping up from the floor, complete lack of electricity and a total exodus. Does this remind you of anything?

Thanks to a duct-tape masterpiece, residents of Kea-Guffin are paying the price: They may lose their precious residence hall.

The main question is, “Is it really worth it to go through all the trouble of fixing the building?”

According to Seth McFarlanee, Head of Experimental Housing, it’s not worth the cost.

“The cost of making Kea-Guffin livable again exceeds our actual need for the residence hall,” McFarlanee said.

Andy Rothenburger, Co-Chairman of Experimental Housing agreed: “The overall price for bringing the rooms up to standards would cost more than the money annually received from students to room there.”

The entire counsel of Experimental Housing unanimously voted to tear down the residence halls and make this the last school year that students can reside in those buildings.

The counsel proposed that the land where Kea-Guffin once stood should be used for an additional lake to foster Pennsylvania wildlife and to possibly earn an additional environmental grant.

Senior Chad Rudder, a resident of Guffin, denied the fact that many of the male students living in Guffin had made a pact stating; “If Kea-Guffin goes down, we are going down with it.”

An uprising from some of the most faithful students is expected.

However, do not fear, Kea-Guffin fans! Starting in the 2012-2013 school year, students will have the choice to live in new additions being built to another residence hall.

The new additions will maintain some resemblance to the original Kea-Guffin residence hall, including the musty smell and dark stairwells.

The specific residence hall on which the additions will be built has not officially been released.

However, Jesse Venture from the Organization of Public Officials has reportedly said, “Doane’s location and general dorm craftsmanship makes it an ideal place for building an addition.”

Several residents from Doane complained about this suggestion, including first-year Sheryl Havenstock.

“The addition of another residence hall onto our quaint Doane home will really take away from the pristine beauty that is Doane,” Havenstock said.

If plans go uninterrupted, demolition of Kea-Guffin will begin next week.