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Have you seen this monster?

On nights when the visibility is so poor that you can only see your hand in front of you, many have claimed to witness it.

The creature has made its home in McGraw Lake, and no one knows where it came from. Reports of sightings leave the campus abuzz as a new mystery unravels.

What is this Loch McGraw Monster and where did it come from?

The Loch McGraw Monster was first sighted at the beginning of the Fall 2010 semester when the algae was plentiful.

“It was green with one large eye in the center of its head, 10 arms and a raspy cough like it had a cold. It reached for my leg as I was walking by so I ran,” first-year Chuck Deuce said.

Others have claimed to have seen it, but there are many different descriptions.     

“I saw it, it looks like a huge mutant turtle or a goose or maybe even a deer,” junior Sarah Brown said.

It has even had an effect on the staff. Sheri Luckey, a former student accounts counselor, relocated to the Esperanza College to get away from the beast.

“I’m pretty sure it was stalking me,” Luckey said. “When I got in the office there were trails of goop in front of my door. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to go.”

“I doubt it’s a monster. It’s probably some kid that fell in trying to get his dropped cell phone. There’s no such thing as monsters,” said Ms. N. Person, a Wayne resident who was recently reported missing after taking her usual nighttime stroll through Eastern’s campus.

“I never did feel safe on this campus,” Eastern graduate student Mallorie Spallino said. “First the psycho geese, now a monster in the lake? I’m going back to Buffalo.”

Plant Ops has been trying to figure out what exactly can be done to exterminate this problem before it gets any worse. After trying to contact them, they told us that they would rather not comment for fear that the monster would read the paper and see that they were after it.

According to campus Security, the monster seems to have bad hand-eye coordination. The best way to avoid being caught by the monster is to walk in a serpentine pattern as you pass the lake.

As the mystery of the Loch McGraw Monster continues to slowly unravel, we at the Waltonian will be covering it extensively for your safety.

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