Not enough boys on campus, you say? Well, think again.
Today, yes, this very day, a busload of boys was driven to Eastern to satisfy the complaints that many members of the student body have filed against the university. In fact, if you look out any window right now you can probably see the new male students swarming the campus.
You may be wondering: how on earth did Eastern accomplish this task? The university sent scouts out all around the surrounding area to bring awareness of this problem. The results were immediate, especially when the perspective students learned about the girl to guy ratio. They had no problem with it, in fact, they seemed eager to be a part of the Eastern community.
“I think this will bring a lot more balance to the school,” a student said. “Plus it’s always nice to see new faces.”
It is also likely to bring out leagues of lovesick ladies fawning over the new students. Be careful, it may be dangerous out there.
So what do you think? The university is holding a survey online to get students’ take on the matter. All you have to do is rate on the “Man-o-meter” how well you think the Eastern scouts did on selecting the new additions.
What are you waiting for? Go and rate!
Will Cunningham 
Mikaela Brown 
Sophia Hunter