Ask Walt…

Dear Walt,

I’m a junior guy. I’m a good guy–no bad habits except for the occasional “that’s what she said” joke. So why is it that the girl-to-guy ratio has not yet played out for me? I know I can’t find a freshmen girl and get into a relationship that afternoon–who’d want that anyway? I guess my real question is, on a campus where the girl-to-guy ratio is something like 6-1, why can’t a girl, 

ONE GIRL, notice what a good guy I am?

-Mr. Lonely

Dear Lonely, 

Since I don’t know you personally, it’s difficult for me to give any specific advice. But here are some truths that every guy should know, from the guy who knows it all.

Every guy should have two things before he’s even ready for a relationship. 

First, you should have a hobby. Video games and movies are not hobbies unless you’re the one making them. A hobby should be something productive and something you enjoy doing. When you’re relaxed you can really be yourself, which is vital because girls always know when you’re being fake with them. 

Second, you need a job. Some source of income. Not because girls expect you to spend a fortune, but paying for dates is kind of an important part of a relationship. 

Also, if you ever plan on getting married, there will be things for which an income is required. Like a house.

Another thing to consider is that Eastern isn’t the only place to find girls. The main line is full of college girls. The world is full of college girls! 

And you’re, what, 21? There’s plenty of time to have a girlfriend. Why not just enjoy being a single undergraduate?

Trust me, love in real life isn’t at all like what is shown in the movies. There is no epic music or fireworks. People aren’t perfect, and until you can acknowledge their imperfections–and yours–with maturity and grace, you should not even be thinking about getting into a relationship. 

Now that’s truth you can take to the bank. 

– Walt