Ever since I can remember, I have had a deep appreciation for aesthetically pleasing conglomerates. However, I did not learn until recently that many of the things I find visually appealing greatly differ from what others find beautiful. Over the past few years, I have realized that not everyone holds the same appreciation for color-coded calendars, a pristinely-made bed or neatly-folded laundry placed delicately into drawers; I did not understand how people could go about their day knowing that their beds were left with ruffled sheets and displaced pillows, or that their clothes lay unfolded around their rooms in no particular order. I did not understand how one could remember everything they had to do in a day if they had not previously mapped it out for themselves a week in advance with the assistance of a large calendar consisting of lined days and colored ink that deciphered different responsibilities. It amazed me that not everyone relied on organization as their key to life like I did.
From a very early age, organization has been my constant, my contentment and my peace. To this day, I know I can rely on organization for nearly anything when life gets too chaotic for me to handle on my own. Being able to recall at any given moment where I have left something brings me comfort. Knowing I have an unscathed room to return to at the end of each day solaces me, regardless of how messy life may feel at the time. Having the ability to consult my ever-expanding calendar when I feel disoriented helps me to regain a sense of authority over my responsibilities.
It is the power to control my physical environment that makes organization such a vital piece of my life. I can recall countless times feeling helpless and powerless over my surroundings. It is a sinking feeling that is experienced by many all too often. The feeling that robs one of control may be deeply rooted in issues found in our families or in our relationships with others. Maybe the overwhelming demands of life as a student make us feel as though we simply cannot keep up with our obligations. Or perhaps it is fueled by sheer anxiety about our current state or our concealed futures to come. Whatever the origin, feeling a lack of control can be detrimental to our lives and to our levels of productivity.
This is why I utilize organization so passionately. It is the fervent need to take back what is mine and to feel in control of myself that causes me to bring such meticulous framework to the tangible objects in my life. I would be at an absolute loss if I did not provide myself with the consistency and reliability that organization possesses. While some say it is obsessive, I say it is freedom. It is the freedom to bring clarity and structure into a mind that is muddled with confusion and calamity; it is the freedom to self-soothe when expectations are set too high and daily responsibilities become oppressive. To me, relying on organization is equivalent to relying on a dependable friend who you know will always catch your fall with his or her unchanging, graceful and reassuring presence.