Smelly Potatoes: Cinema Snapshot

Summer blockbusters are all the rage. There is nothing more satisfying than escaping the confines of your warm house to seek refuge in a cold, dank movie theater, eating overpriced popcorn and enjoying the best of what Hollywood currently has to offer (which isn’t much). In light of this, I will preview some upcoming blockbusters, but also give film recommendations.

The Trend Continues: Superhero Films

Superheroes are all the rage, with the Marvel Cinematic Universe being the highest-grossing film franchise of all time. This past March, we saw the tragic release of DC Comics’ biggest film to date: Zach Snyder’s “Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice.” I will not provide a summary, because Wonder Woman deserved to have her own film BEFORE this mess. The only reason to see this film is for Wonder Woman’s seven minutes of screen time. Seriously, this film was terrible. Don’t see it. Even Holly Hunter and Jeremy Irons cannot make up for its awfulness. It’s a taxing movie: very heavy all around. It has a few cool moments, but much like Henry Cavill’s hairline, it’s pretty lacking in “fun” of any kind, and it takes itself way too seriously.

Where DC fails, Marvel succeeds; Marvel is releasing two films this spring. First, we have the blockbuster “Captain America: Civil War”, where we see Captain America and Iron Man duking it out in the name of….uhh…..justice? This sounds very similar to “Batman v. Superman,” but with superior heroes and a better reason for fighting. It boosts a superior ensemble cast: Chris Evans, Robert Downey, Jr., Mary Conaghan-I mean…Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Emily Van Camp, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Paul Bettany, Don Cheadle, Anthony Mackie, and newcomers Martin Freeman, Tom Holland, and Chadwick Bosman. (I am choosing to exclude Jeremy Renner because I hate him and he looks like a foot.) I am excited to see Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow take the high side of the conflict, the mediator so to speak. She is really on neither side, watching two men fight it out all sweaty and bloody. (Also, God bless! She got a better wig! Yass Queen!) Look forward to Emily Van Camp’s ten minutes of screen time, and a random appearance by Spider Man. I am quite looking forward to seeing it decimate “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” in overall box office receipts. The downfall of DC Comics is upon us.

Film Recommendations

First, we have “Carol,” starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara. The biggest thing I can tell you about this film is that it is essentially “Lesbians at Macy’s Department Store: The Movie.” Taking place in the 1950’s it is a very vintage film, with gorgeous visuals and costumes.

Overall, I cannot stress enough the importance of how much films mean to me. So, I will leave you with a final recommendation, courtesy of Netflix: “The Price of Gold” is a documentary about the infamous ice skating rivalry/scandal between Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding. The Ice Princesses fought to the death in competition for the 1995 Winter Olympics, and it cumulated with Kerrigan getting clubbed in the knee with a police baton courtesy of Harding’s boyfriend. This documentary has it all: The “thwack” heard ‘round the World, Harding’s mother hurling abuse at her daughter on the phone, Kerrigan’s infamous whining, “WHY?! WHY?!” Connie Chung, the infamous “broken skate,” Oksana Baiul coming out of nowhere and winning the Gold, and a bloated Tonya Harding desperately trying to defend herself and failing miserably. I cannot recommend it enough.

We have come a long way in the current age of cinema. We still go to the movies despite the rising ticket prices, and some of us (you know who you are) torrent or stream films online to save money. The rise of Netflix and Hulu have also determined how we view film as a whole. All in all, I look forward to seeing what the future holds for cinema and whether it will last. (One last thing: That Sci-Fi film “Passengers” starring Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence comes out this Christmas. I am still jealous of her.)