There is exciting news on the horizon for a few students this week. It has recently been confirmed that the cries for help from Eastern’s vegan students have finally been silenced (thank goodness), but not in the way you might think!
After speaking with several workers at cafes across campus, it was stated that all three requests for more vegan food options on campus have been received and considered. During interviews, one anonymous source stated “I ate meat when I was twenty and I turned out fine. Kids these days could never survive in the time I grew up in. When I was your age…” More updates to follow.
The workers have confirmed recent rumors of new snack vending machines being installed across campus. They will be located in every residence hall, with the exception of yours, as well as the top floor of McInnis Hall. Sources have stated this is to encourage movement and extra steps in everyday life for students, not hide the machines from prospective students touring Eastern. That is simply an added benefit!
The new vending machines will be stocked with snacks exclusively for vegans. In fact, an exclusive vegan ID will be required to retrieve snacks from the drop box. These will be available for distribution in Eagle Hall beginning on April 15, 2025, in room TBA. Stop by and provide the password, “soyful noise.” This is to keep costs down by preventing non-vegan students from using the machines. With only the vegans having access, one stock should last an entire semester!
Some of the snacks available in the vending machines include a full head of lettuce, baby carrots, plain potato chips, a can of kidney beans and anything else a meatless mind can imagine! Please note: for the sake of freshness, raw vegetables will be distributed unpackaged to allow the machines to mist them hourly. This is also a great opportunity to save on plastic use. Save the turtles!
Along with exclusive vegan access cards, students can now use their Eastern meal swipes at vending machines. One swipe will include a can of beans or corn cob alongside a raw vegetable of your choice, as well as a cardboard carton of water. What a steal!
Aside from the additions brought in for the new vending machines, meal and snack options across campus will remain exactly the same. Considering the size of the population of vegans on campus, it is believed that the machines will be more than enough to accommodate students’ needs. In fact, per the requests of the sports teams, more carnivorous and protein-filled options will be implemented in regular campus cafes. Go Eagles!
Upon hearing the news regarding the machines, one student shared concerns regarding the expiration of fresh foods in the machines over time. They asked if the infrequent stocking of raw vegetables would lead to them becoming non-consumable as weeks go by.
Anyway, all questions and concerns about these upcoming installations can be directed to vegans.r.us@eastern.edu, and enjoy your all-new vending machines, vegans!
Colin Tomczak 
Adaelle Stobie