Miss Information

Dear Miss Information,

This week I got an invitation to a Valentine’s Day party, and I really want to go. There’s going to be candy, food, and the Sixers game on the TV. What more could a guy ask for? Plus, all my friends are going. There’s only one problem– I don’t have a valentine this year. All of my friends are bringing their valentines to the party, and I can’t be the only single person there! But where am I supposed to get a valentine so last minute? I don’t have a girlfriend, or even a crush! I don’t want to be humiliated at this party, but I don’t want to miss it either. What should I do?

Sincerely, Alone on Valentine’s Day

Dear Alone on Valentine’s Day, 

Let’s face it, love can be hard to find these days. Some people might suggest you try speed dating, or make a Tinder account, or even have your friends set you up on a blind date. But that’s way too unpredictable! Instead, I have a foolproof way to get you a valentine- make your own. Who doesn’t love a good DIY? 

All you have to do is make a list of all the qualities you like in a girl. Is she outgoing or shy? Funny or serious? Blonde or brunette? Think very carefully about your answers. Ultimately, you want this girl to be so perfect that all of your friends are jealous of you. Once you decide on all that, all you have to do is go into ChatGPT and ask for a little help. You’ll be able to use your answers to create an AI chat-bot who can go to the party with you as your valentine!

“But how does that work?” I’m glad you asked. When you get to the party, introduce everyone to your date. Whip out your phone and tell all your friends about your valentine’s amazing qualities. In order to make sure she doesn’t feel left out, make sure you’re typing everything that happens into the chat. Then, whenever your date responds, read her answers aloud to the group, so that she can really feel like a part of the conversation.

Now I know you might be thinking: “Miss Information, I asked for a date, not a robot!” But all I have to say is, don’t be so close minded. Have you ever seen the movie Her? In five years, everyone will have an AI girlfriend! She can’t talk back to you, or make you feel bad. You’re totally in control. If you take the risk on AI, you might start a trend, or even find love. 

Hope this helps, Miss Information