‘Tis the season to be loving. At least, that is what we have been conditioned to believe for the past, well, who knows how many years? Don’t get me wrong; I love the red hearts, pink ribbons and soft brown teddy bears filling up stores just as much as the next person. However, who made the rule that these lovely joys were only meant for people who are in romantic relationships?
For a while now, I have come to understand that a lot of people, ironically, do not love this holiday. In fact, many people hate it. This can be for multiple reasons, whether it be feeling alone or just not having a taste for the pastel-colored, chalky-textured conversation hearts. Maybe the time has come to change our perspective and shift it toward something positive, whether we are in loving, romantic relationships or a lifelong friendship that we love just as much.
But, what is love, other than a romantic bond with another? When we put our minds to it, love is not something we consider solely for a partner with which we share romance. Our fondness for one another should be celebrated, no matter the dynamic shared between us. In fact, even the ancient Greeks give us insight on the primary types of love found in our hearts. Love, when observed correctly, can be found in both family and friends. A teammate is someone who is by your side, which the Greeks would refer to as philia: an affectionate kind of love that forms a deep bond, one of which we should not take for granted. A beautiful example of this kind of love is found in a student right on our Eastern University campus named Vesa Pema: a friend, a daughter and more importantly, a sister. When asked who the most important person is to her, she said, “The most important relationship in my life will always be the one I have with my little sister. She’s six years younger than me and the sweetest and most gentle soul. I love her so much. I don’t love anyone in the world like I do my sisters.”
What makes up this kind of love? There isn’t just one factor to that, but several. Pema offered insight as to what makes her feel this type of love for her sister. “I love how funny she is. She makes me laugh so much because she’s so random and silly. I think she’s probably the most optimistic and kind person ever. She’s always thinking of others and so introverted and shy around others. But when she lets you in, it’s such a joy and addition to your life,” she said.
People do not often know how much they mean to one another, and showing them with actions or even just words can make a huge difference. But not all love is found in the person you call your best friend. Some love is instinctive: a fondness you encounter with those who have watched you grow up. This love is called storge, and Dr. Hennessey-Booth of Eastern’s Communications Studies Department has her own story to share in terms of it. In fact, she has more than one story, but four of them, to be exact. Her love should be an example to us all: raising her children, showing them each their own time for affection and still having the desire to celebrate them later in life. We then discussed how she intends to honor her loved ones for Valentine’s Day. “I am thinking I should celebrate them this Valentine’s Day. I am thinking of writing them a letter to tell them all how much I love and appreciate them. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful family,” she said.
But do not think that being a parent is the only way to experience this love, whether you are a sibling, parent, aunt or uncle, it can be had. Just ask Sarah Todd, the Director of Career Development and First-Year Advising here at Eastern, who experiences this bond daily with her cousin, Karen Thompson, who also works here at Eastern. She mentioned practically growing up with her best friend, their relation being present in their daily phone calls. After asking Todd what she loves about her cousin Thompson, she gave a beautiful sentiment: “No matter the hour, she’ll always text me back, and I know I can trust her with whatever I’m going through, big or small,” she said.
Nevertheless, even if we do have a romantic partner and are not exploring what it means to be single, shouldn’t we recognize what it is that brings us together? The kind of love that falls into romance is known as eros, named after the Greek god of love, and despite the message that love can be found in all people, love persists in every form. If you are in a relationship, take a moment to not only reflect on it, but also consider all the other loved ones who would appreciate even a message from you on the holiday. Morgan Hopper, a freshman at Eastern, was kind enough to share a meaningful conversation with me, reflecting on her story with her boyfriend. When asked about their relationship, she mentioned that she too knew him for a large portion of her life. But Hopper did not just tell me about her love life; she shared an example of how any relationship can display many types of love. “He’s just…when I think of my best friend, I think of him. Like obviously, he’s my boyfriend too, but I feel like him being my best friend is more important than my boyfriend, ’cause it shows that he really gets me,” she said.
There is a feeling of comfort we get when we are understood, and that is one of the many similarities between all of these dynamics. I asked Hopper what she loves about her boyfriend, and her response was something we all yearn to experience. “I love that he just, like, gets me. Like, he gets my humor, and he always, like, knows how I’m feeling and I don’t really have to say it. Which I think it’s probably because we’ve been together so long, and we’ve been friends for so long, that we just, like, know each other like that now,” she said. What I find special about these conversations I’ve had is that everyone’s story can be represented in many ways. Although we live unique lives, we make bonds that stick with us the same way Hopper’s relationship began as a friendship.
Finally, I want to end our journey speaking of the last of the four types: agape, the highest form of love, which is pure and selfless. This form of love is one given to all of humanity, and it is the kind of love that someday, I hope to be able to express for every person I meet. If you’ve been reminded of someone special while reading this, send them a message, write them a letter, or just give them a hug. Afterall, we all live better when we cherish.
