Have you ever grimaced at your reflection in a mirror, winced after making an embarrassing comment aloud or considered the idea that you have too many bad habits to be likable? By the time a person reaches an age to attend college, they have typically announced “I hate myself!” at least once in their lifetime.
Well, there is good news for you. You don’t actually hate yourself. No, this is not some new kind of therapeutic gaslighting technique. It’s all much simpler than that. In a sermon by Pastor Matthew Fisher of Calvary Chapel Stroudsburg, Fisher stated “No one can hate themselves. They’re all too busy loving themselves.” Obviously, this is simple but contradictory wording. Try breaking it down into bite-sized pieces.
Think about someone you really despise. This is no average, slightly annoying person. They are crass, conceited and overall unlikable. This is someone you hate. Imagine them showing up to their earliest morning class with their hair unbrushed, makeup from the day before smeared and the same hoodie they’ve worn for the last few days. Then, during class, they raise their hand and give the most absurd wrong answer you’ve ever heard, and classmates look around and snicker. For you, this is a great day! The person you hate is suffering, woohoo!
Of course, it’s wrong to celebrate someone else’s bad day, but everyone has done it at one point or another. When they are knocked down a peg, you feel satisfaction, because they deserve it. You hate that person, and you don’t care about their reputation. Guess whose reputation you do care about: yours.
You work hard to protect how others view you, and you feel knocked down when something goes wrong and makes you appear inferior. You guard yourself as though you are someone you love. That’s perfectly okay! As young people growing emotionally, mentally and socially, we should all be trying our best to be seen as a positive member of society. However, in doing so, we should lay to rest the age-old developmental stage of self loathing. It’s only holding us back from becoming more.
This is not to say that a person who has committed a terrible crime, deeply hurt a loved one or struggled with true emotional trouble in general cannot suffer with self-loathing in its true sense. If this is the case, that person can feel serious symptoms of depression and struggle to get through a simple day. In this serious case, help is available.
The moral of this story is that as a young, healthy college student with the rest of your life ahead of you, it is important to remember that your loud loathing does not make you humble, it makes you negative. You take care of yourself, and that’s a good, healthy thing, so don’t negate it with your words!
