Becoming a part of the Waltonian meant a lot to me, and it has been one of the highlights of my year. I was given the opportunity to be the Centerspread Editor, which comes with a lot of responsibilities. From learning the horrific rules of AP style to the long hours spent fighting InDesign to death, it has all been an unforgettable journey.
I have met some amazing writers, but this one right here? Please. Loubetsi Koffa: You know her as the one who wrote the Black History Month and First-Year Mental Health articles for my section in the last issue. They were beautiful, I’ll give her that, but they were almost too beautiful. So much so that I had to ask: “Are you using AI?” Of course, the response to this was, “No, I would never do that,” but I don’t believe that one bit. She can deny it all she wants, but I’m not having it. I refuse to believe someone can submit a draft that clean without something strange going on. As of today, I will be petitioning to get Koffa exiled from the world of journalism. We need to make room for real, honest writers – not her!
Now, before anyone tries to call me crazy or dramatic, let me explain something: I am not only an editor, but I am also a writing assistant, which means double AI sensors are on in my brain. I have read enough student articles and papers to know when writing sounds a little robotic. Think about it: These articles had structure, smooth transitions and paragraphs that flowed into each other. Do you know how rare that is in student writing? Practically mythical.
I’m not saying that good writing is impossible, considering I’ve met many talented writers and I am the best writer on this campus, but come on. I’d be a fool to think that she’s actually writing these articles, and you would be too. I remember being in awe when the article was first sent to me, but then I started finding em dashes everywhere. No student just casually throws around em dashes like that without consequences. Koffa wrote, “Belonging is constructed one step at a time–through the meaningful connections that we make, the challenges we face and are pushed through when it is easy to leave”. What? I can’t believe we let this slide. And don’t even get me started on the Black History Month article. The point is that this situation has raised serious concerns about the future of honest writing.
If we allow suspiciously good articles to roam freely around the Waltonian, who knows what could happen next? Therefore, as a responsible citizen and member of the well-respected Waltonian staff, I feel like it is my duty to take a stand. I cannot sit here and let suspiciously impressive writing threaten the hardworking editors and writers. So yes, the petition stands. Journalism and honest writing must be protected, and if that means exiling Loubetsi Koffa from the world of student journalism, then so be it. Bye-bye.
Matt Wichocki:
Horrendible. That is the only word I’d like to use to describe the atrocity of the news I have recently learned. Since the start of my first semester here at Eastern I have enjoyed taking assignments and bringing at least one new issue for you, my beloved readers, to enjoy whilst you drink your coffee or enjoy your dinner, sit on the toilet or whatever it is that you do while you read a newspaper because that is unfortunately such a rare thing to encounter these days. Regardless of that, what I do, even as a guest writer, is done with passion, as is expected by all the other members of the Waltonian crew. So, why is it that we have uncovered a potential user of artificial intelligence substituting the wondrous work of journalism for the nonsense curated by a digital human?
Now, we have to take in the severity of what this means. I assume by now you have gotten tired of my ranting without perpetrator, and for that reason, I will reveal to you that the “writer” in question is named Loubetsi Koffa, a student at Eastern already known to be sanctimonious and having prior claims that she has never used AI in any circumstance ever before. However, upon further investigation, I found that not only have all her articles come out of scanners with a 100% AI-written percentage rate, but the search history within her eastern email is riddled with tabs of ChatGPT, Google Gemini, Claude, CoPilot, and forty-two other drinking water overconsumers and other random websites which produce faulty writing. Methods used to gather this information were conducted by Destiny Chiles, a talented reporter who has also covered this crucial matter and offered me the opportunity to join the investigation.
If it was not clear to you that she was using AI before, just take a look at the immense amount of perfect punctuation and em-dashes, which we all know are only allowed to be used by AI. In addition, we are very aware that any and all AI trackers and scanners are absolutely accurate, and we should never question them, as that would be extraordinarily ridiculous. This is exactly why professors use them, of course. Furthermore, I’d like to point out one of her very first articles written for The Waltonian regarding disc golf. Need I say any more? Who even knows what disc gold is? “Frisbee golf is a sport that follows the structure of traditional golf, but uses flying discs instead of clubs and balls, which players throw into a metal basket instead of holes in the grass,” she wrote. Needless to say, she used an absurd amount of commas inside that statement alone, followed by random knowledge in frisbee golf, which has to be some sort of made-up sport.
All in all, the sapphire gaze worn whilst reading articles written by Koffa must be removed in order to address the issue that is incredible journalism. Whether it is em-dashes, excessive commas, an ai-scan or a discussion of something nobody knows exists, we will know.
