A final say

My dear University, this is my last article to appear in the Waltonian and the final that will ever feature under my name in this, my very favorite section. Before I offer you one last delectable opinion, I want to thank the Waltonian for being so kind to me over the years especially considering my knowledge and abilities in the field of journalism. My thanks to all the editors who put up with my late articles for four years, and my thanks to those who put up with me when I briefly and unprofessionally ran this section. 

Over the past few days I’ve been reading through some of my old articles. I’ve written a lot of opinions, potentially to the detriment of this newspaper and our campus. It’s odd re-seeing the things you’ve written, especially when they’re being preserved for the rest of the foreseeable future on the internet. After a brief re-reading, a person, especially myself, quickly wonders why they ever wrote a particular thing at all. Why was it so important that I said that? Why did I find it necessary to argue that Women’s History Month shouldn’t exist or that pineapple pizza was a serious perversion? Sometimes, when I can remember my reasons for writing these kinds of things, the reasons often feel suspiciously trivial or petty. 

And though I have this worry, and may have it for some time to come, especially if my future employers research and read the opinions of freshman me, I don’t know if I can say that I regret them. This lack of regret doesn’t come from an assurance that I have spoken goodness and truth (I haven’t) but rather because each time I was attempting to create an opinion. 

There’s something beautiful in opinion making. Opinions aren’t verdicts, commands, or edicts. Instead, they are (at least ought to be) the essence of the phrase “I have an idea”. They are something designed to be shared, heard and examined. An opinion, in its proper place, is a gift.  While I lie turning in the grave of “real life,” I hope you all continue to write opinions, and I hope you remain brave enough to throw ideas into the midst of your friends—and maybe even your enemies. That having been said, I now want to take one final stab at this great art and make one last opinion. 

It’s hard to pick one thing to have a last opinion on though. If you were dying and someone held a microphone to your lips right as your eyes were closing, would one opinion suffice? Maybe, but now that I find myself having time for only one more article, every singular opinion feels unworthy of the title, last. In front of me looms the unsaid; the immense pile of everything I will never get the chance to say. How does one even begin sorting through which of these are valuable and which are worthless? Maybe one can’t, and so what follows is, or I should say are, my last opinion(s). 

Firstly, black and white movies may be the pinnacle of art (along with claymation). Secondly, have you ever considered believing that all gods are real, not just God? If your answer is no, I think you should consider it. Along a slightly different line of thinking, do you think that tobacco can be healthily smoked? (I do). What about our male/female friendships? Do they actually exist or are we just kidding ourselves each and every day? I think more often than not we are kidding ourselves, and I am thinking of particular people who are reading this. What about our University? Is it really turning one hundred? According to a certain understanding of one hundred, certainly—but I will posit that the university did not always hold this certain understanding. (Check the basement of Warner Library for more information). Will we last another hundred years? Unless we can find ourselves a story and a purpose that our whole community can embrace, I think the answer is, nope. (Don’t be concerned by this though. We are currently very financially stable, and that kind of stability can last a decent amount of time). Here’s a never asked question that most students ask themselves on an almost daily basis: Can we ever justify breaking university rules? It seems like in some situations we would be right to do so, that is, unless the school’s rules are entirely free from error or obedience in everything is virtuous. I can’t be opinion making without mentioning that we lost some Christian spirit when we became a “Christ-Centered University.” Also, did you know that there is any such thing as a purely aesthetic choice? What I mean is that we are only fooling ourselves when we say we chose a thing “just because we like it.” There is a reason we like it (and that reason could be sinister). Oh, I also believe that a hierarchy can be a pretty good thing. You too should consider it. 

Well, thank you for listening to my last opinions. It might be unwise for you (or I) to believe half of them, but if you have time during the hecticness of finals week consider them and then write me an opinion in return. Here’s to Eastern! A flawed school that does a lot of good. And here’s to opinions. Farewell dear readers.