An exciting backpacking trip? Nope, just another day of school-iosus.

Dear Miss Information,

I’m a sophomore and I’ve been having a rough start to this semester. I’m taking 18 credits and my backpack is so full of binders and books that I can barely pick it up. The other day, I was walking to class and I started to feel faint from the exertion of carrying my backpack from my car to HHC. You see, I’m a commuter, so I have to bring everything with me. So many books, so little space. My bag is overflowing and my back is giving out. I’m starting to think that by the end of this semester I’ll have permanent spinal damage. My doctor says it’s not looking good. I’m just a student, I can’t afford a fancy chiropractor. 

I’m not really sure what to do about this. Should I take the L and get one of those suitcase-type rolling backpacks? I tried leaving half my stuff in the car, but it’s such a hassle to run back and forth from the parking lot to different buildings. I’m kinda at a loss here. 

With this super heavy backpack situation, I’m starting to walk around like a hunchback. You know that Disney movie? Yeah, I’m the guy in the bell tower. It’s rough. I’m starting to regret even enrolling in college, if it means sacrificing my health and posture. Please help me come up with some kind of solution. It would mean the world to my back. 

Sincerely, 

The Hunchback of Walton Hall

Dear Hunchback of Walton Hall,

Man up, son. This sounds like a problem for the gym, not the newspaper. You should be grateful for the free strength training you are getting by carrying around so many books. But it sounds like you need to work on your gains before you start signing up for so many classes. Maybe you should drop one or two of these courses, so that you do not have to carry around so many books. Of course, that is a coward’s move, but if it makes you feel better, so be it. 

Also, that “guy in the bell tower” is Quasimodo, thank you very much. Put some respect on his name. If you are going to compare himself to him, at least have the decency to do your research. I’m sure your situation feels rough, but trust, it is nothing compared to the problems “that guy” had to endure. 

And another thing, those sissy rolling backpacks are only for wimps. Are you a wimp, Quasimodo? I didn’t think so. Let’s be real. It is not fair that you get to drive to class every day, while some of us have to take these new alternate routes around the construction that seems to be all over campus. You should be grateful for your wheels, pal. They’ll get you places. Your attitude, however? It will; only get you into trouble. 

If you really want my advice, I suggest you stop whining and start lifting. I am sorry that your spine is taking real damage from this predicament but I think that is just a sign of your weakness, rather than an issue for the likes of me. I hope your situation improves, but really, that is up to you. Are you going to take charge of your life and do something about this, or are you going to be complacent and fragile? The choice is yours. 

Sincerely, 

Miss Information 

Need advice or encouragement? Have a problem that needs solving? Submit your questions and dilemmas to Miss Information! Write to dilemmas to wtonline@eastern.edu!