A few weeks ago, the Eastern community was buzzing with the drama of an anonymous Instagram account called “EU Confessions.” The account, which has since been deleted, had a link in its bio to a Google Form where Eastern students could submit their “confessions.” The account had caught the eye of much of the Eastern community, and at its peak, the account was posting several confessions every couple of hours.
While some submissions were wholesome and others true confessions, the account was largely taken up by calling out individuals in the Eastern community in occasionally negative ways. This caused some anxiety and confusion among the student body as individuals held their breath and prayed their names would not appear on the page.
The short but chaotic reign of this Instagram account amassed considerable attention and a frantic witch hunt was set about to discover the creator and facilitator. After a few days of letting the confessions run wild, the account owner announced it would delete the account due to ethical concerns. The account had spun wildly out of control, the owner stated, and they should have never let it go this far. A copycat account quickly popped up and diminished just as fast, leaving the creator of EU Confessions an Eastern mystery for the ages, a cautionary tale about the dangers of anonymity on the internet.
That is, until now.
The Waltonion has obtained previously confidential information as part of an investigation into the origins of EU Confessions, and what was discovered will shock you. The owner of EU Confessions was none other than beloved Univerisity Chaplain, Dr. Joe Modica.
“I originally started it as part of a mission I had to bring chaplaincy into the 21st century,” Modica said. “You know, back in the day, students used to come up to me, confess their sins and ask for forgiveness. We would pray together and I would send them on their way, reconciled to God. It was one of my favorite parts of Chaplain work.”
But things have changed since Modica took the position some thirty years ago. “Now, students are always on their phones and no one has time to come by and confess their sins anymore. It just made me feel as if a major part of my job was not being done, and I didn’t like that. So, I started an anonymous Instagram account to help students confess their sins in a way that’s more comfortable for them.”
Being a bit tech-illiterate, Modica initially struggled with the process. “First I had to figure out how to take a screenshot, and that took about a week to figure out. It was slow going at first. Plus, not many students knew about the account. But as I spent more time poking around Instagram, I began to understand the language a bit better. Some people forget I have a PhD!” Modica said. “If I can figure out technical theological terminology, you better believe I can pick up internet slang.”
Modica succeeded so greatly in picking up this new terminology that students assumed the owner simply had to be another student. No one suspected the man behind the account all along was the Chaplain of the school. “It was strange no one suspected me, being the person in charge of the spiritual health of the students. Of course I’m interested in confession and repentance,” Modica said. “But I will admit, things got out of hand more quickly than I anticipated.”
Modica did not expect what the account would become. “I was expecting repentance for sins, but it quickly turned into an anonymous public forum where students were barraging one another for all to see. At first, I let it all happen, believing I should not intervene in this process. But after a couple days, my logic kicked in and I realized the point of the account was not being served anymore,” Modica said.
Although the Waltonion launched a thorough investigation into the account, Modica was actually the one to come forward with the information. “Well, I thought–if I’m asking all these students to confess, why shouldn’t I confess too? So now it’s out there and students can rest assured that I practice what I preach. Being a university Chaplain for this long, you come to realize that what students really want is someone who can be down to Earth and not hypocritical. This account was my most daring attempt yet to show students I’m just a person.”
While Modica regrets not taking action sooner to close the account down, he has no regrets about trying it out. “As a university Chaplain, I’m constantly in the process of trying new and special ways to connect with the spiritual health of students,” Modica said. “I think the intention behind the account holds up, even if I did let it run longer than I should have. To anyone who spread negativity on the account, please see me in my office. You have some confessing to do.”
Colin Tomczak 
Eva Whited