Will you be my ancient priest?

What does it really mean to ask a girl to be your Valentine, gentlemen? There are a few options in translating the question.

1) First off, you should be asking a grown man, not a girl. You have found yourself in a tricky situation: the government has just outlawed your upcoming wedding to your bride-to-be, because you haven’t served your time in the military. It happens, I know. (In 3rd-Century Rome at least). You’ve become desperate – you really love your fiancée, you have no desire to serve in the military, and you’ve basically just been sentenced to die single in the army while your beloved weeps to death at home. When all hope seems lost, you stumble upon a priest by the name of Valentine. He hears your difficulty and – what a blessing! – offers to secretly officiate the marriage ceremony between you and your betrothed, at risk to his own life! So, that’s one meaning. If you want to marry your sweetheart, ask someone to be your officiating Father Valentine.

2) Do you have epilepsy? It turns out that Saint Valentine traditionally healed many sicknesses, notably epilepsy, with his prayers and care. You are essentially asking someone to pray intensely for your physical and spiritual healing. “Hey girl, I hear you’re a doctor…”

3) “Hey girl– wait, who’s this?” Yes, so, there were actually two Saint Valentines. Christians have celebrated the feast day of Saint Valentine of Rome on February 14, ever since Bishop Gelasius I established the feast in 486 AD. Saint Valentine of Interamna, a bishop who also lived in the third century, is the one known for the healing of epilepsy and other illnesses. For most of Christendom, he is celebrated on July 30.

4) “Hey girl, die for me!” Both Saint Valentines were martyrs. Roman officials killed Saint Valentine of Rome on February 14 in 286 AD, apparently for his disobedience of the royal decree that no marriage ceremony could be performed for men who had not served their military obligation. Saint Valentine of Interamna was martyred for refusing to worship idols; he endured torture and was eventually beheaded.

In the martyric sense, married couples are the best Valentines to one another. On their wedding day, they choose martyrdom: getting married is saying, “I will die for you – I will get up early to make you coffee even though I slept terribly last night, I will help you with the kids when I get home from work and am exhausted, I will drop my lovely plans because you’re unwell, I will stay with you even if I cannot stand you sometimes – for the rest of my life.” In most of the weddings I have attended, the bride and groom are crowned. Two crowns, with a ribbon or something similar connecting them to each other, are placed on the couple’s heads by a priest who says, “O Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor!” and the choir responds with a hymn: “O holy martyrs who fought the good fight and have received your crowns, entreat the Lord to have mercy on our souls!” This part of the service is beautiful, aesthetically, and the message is: this is the moment the two of you agree to die. 

Although Valentine’s Day is more so in honor of Saint Valentine of Rome, both Saint Valentines stand as excellent examples of sacrificial love, which is incredibly romantic and deserves celebration! Saint Valentine of Rome’s dedication to the sacrament of holy matrimony gives the holiday its core flavor, although Saint Valentine of Interamna equally exemplifies the spirit of sacrificial love a couple (or any friendship!) should follow. It looks like asking someone to be your Valentine, and being someone’s Valentine yourself, is quite the glorious task.