WASHINGTON, DC — At a campaign stop at Eastern University’s Holy Week chapel, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump announced his plan to run for the Eastern University presidency after suspending…
Education Inequality in Philadelphia This semester, I drive into inner-city Philadelphia five days a week to student-teach at an urban school. This is the final requirement that I must complete…
The Eastern Beet ST. DAVID’S, PA — Residents of Doane Hall announced their plan to secede from the rest of the St. David’s campus on March 13, citing “differences in…
ST. DAVIDS, PA — The mandatory annual change in theological trends within the Templeton Honors College is moving once more. As of Jan. 18, a surprising number of THC students…
1. Follow your potential Valentine around. Learn their schedule, phone number, health insurance policy number and EU password. Potential Valentines love this! When you try to connect with another person…
Tony Campolo Bust Spotted at S.A.B. Sky Zone Event OAKS, PA — A recent incident at the S.A.B. Sky Zone Event proves that even Eastern alumni need a break from…
1. Winter Break being wasted away. Now that the anticipated week of finals is nigh, it is time to begin thinking about the activities you will partake in during your…
1. Changing weather patterns without my consent. You wake up in your warm bed to your alarm saying, in an all-too-much-like-Willy-Wonka voice, “Good morning, sunshine! The earth says ‘hello’!” As…
1. Not enough community. You are sitting quietly in your room, diligently and enthusiastically attempting a paper, thinking ‘Gee whiz, I really wish somebody would come and bang on my…
The Halloween Harry Potter edition 1. Arrogant first year students walking around like they own the castle. You are sitting in the Great Hall having your morning pumpkin juice when…
Chad Seamon