Once again the “diverse” Emmy Awards were upon us, and oh, what a mess they turned out to be! Hosted by the inferior Jimmy Kimmel, we had an incredibly large group of shows and nominees. But of course the main reason I am writing this article is to express my sorrow and rage that “Fargo” did not win anything, with everything being stolen by “American Crime Story” instead. Do not misunderstand me: Sarah Paulson was phenomenal on “ACS” as federal prosecutor Marcia Clark, but had it been any other year, the win would have gone to Kirsten Dunst as the sociopathic beautician Peggy Blomquist on “Fargo,” and the same goes for Regina King winning over Jean Smart. I am happy for them nonetheless. As I kept watching, the jokes just got worse and worse, and the winners were just as bland and predictable as I had thought. I was happy to see people like Sterling K.Brown, Courtney B. Vance and John W. Oliver win (Oliver was very self-aware in his speech). Kate McKinnon finally won, and her speech was very genuine and honest.
Some of the fashion choices were a bit conservative, with the exception of Kirsten Dunst, who wore a very revealing dress. Kirsten, honey, what are tops? But the most awkward, cringe-inducing fashion choice of the night goes to Claire Danes, who evidentially forgot to erase her spray tan. I could not tell what the color of her dress was. It appeared to be some shade of pink/yellow? Danes was so bland she practically blended in with the gold statuettes themselves. I do not think Marc “I Don’t See Color, I See People” Jacobs has a shade that color, honestly.
There were several very awkward moments, starting with the introduction, which featured a random appearance by Jeb Bush as a limo driver, a joke about diversity and an incredibly long, awkward and insulting joke about how nine-time Emmy nominee Dame Maggie Smith does not care about the awards. You see, jokes like that are why she does not attend these awards. I was shocked to see Louie Anderson emerge from whatever cave he has been living in for the past 25 years to win an award. There was a very uncomfortable joke about Bill Cosby and a very strange assortment of peanut butter sandwiches handed out to everyone in attendance. “Grease: Live” won over Beyonce’s “Lemonade,” which just begs the question: Are these awards as diverse as we think? Why do we keep making jokes about diversity, yet not do anything to, you know, actually fix the problems at hand?
I thought there were several cute moments. Sarah Paulson brought the real Marcia Clark with her to the awards, which was a nice touch. Kate McKinnon, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Patton Oswalt and Sterling K. Brown each had some of the most emotional moments of the night, as all thanked their late fathers in their speeches, which caused the waterworks to flow from every person in the audience, and of course from every viewer at home. I cannot make any snarky comments about that, as it is a respectable thing. “Game of Thrones” won for the episode “Battle of the Bastards,” a well-deserved win, despite Kit Harrington’s awkward acting chops. Lena Headey’s nomination as the wine-drinking, Sept-destroying, misunderstood Cersei Lannister was rendered moot when, once again, Maggie Smith somehow won her fourth win out of nine nominations for not doing anything.
The feminist website Jezebel published a piece titled “What’s Up With Julia Louis-Dreyfus?” that questioned why Louis-Dreyfus looked so miserable at the award ceremony. They later updated the piece to include the anecdote about Louis-Dreyfus’ mention of her father passing away last week, but the question remains, why are women constantly asked why they are not smiling? Why are men considered pansies if they show emotion? Why are we going backwards in a patriarchal society?
In conclusion, I think the evening can best be summed up with Maggie Smith’s sassy rebuttal to Jimmy Kimmel in regards to the joke about her demeanor: “I feel the Emmys have been very generous to me. If Mr. Kimmel could please direct me to the lost and found office, I will try and be on the next flight. Love, Maggie.”