Opinions

What (Does Not) Grind My Gears: Snow

Disclaimer: First off, yes, I do know I am wearing a black facemask around campus. Yes, I am aware that it makes me look like a ninja, lunatic, assassin, Batman, fencer, New Age video game character, and Kylo Ren. No, I am not just wearing it to look cool. I get chapped lips easily, so I wear it to keep the snow and the cold off of the lower half of my face. Just wanted to make that one known. Anyways, let’s begin.

Snow: I love snow. These little white flakes of condensed water are some of the coolest things to have ever fallen out of the sky. The way the snow hangs on the branches brings out another form of beauty this campus has to offer. Snow’s existence alone breaks up the monotonous cycle of the weather. If all I had was rain and sunshine all year long, I would be so bored. Since I have snow, winter has a reason to be cherished and seen as a wondrous time of the year. What I do not like about snow is…

Salt: After one snowfall, this stuff ends up everywhere. It gets stuck in the grooves in my shoes, and then it begins to wear through my already dilapidated sneakers. My Vans are going to melt before the streets are even hot enough to burn rubber. It’s bad enough I left my snow boots at home, but now the school wants to punish me for forgetting them? I’m sorry, alright. I’ll remember them next year.

Black Ice: I think this is one of the ways God gets His kicks. After years of trying, He realized banana peels were not slippery enough, and since He doesn’t want us to suffer all year long He made his most slippery and unsuspecting natural substance a once-a-year turmoil. Let me set the scene. It is dark outside, I have my backpack on so I am off balance, I am walking along through the night unawares, and then it happens. I slip on one of these patches, and everything changes. My foot climbs up to the sky as my butt races down to the ground. Both of them hit their marks, as my back is slowly pressed further into my backpack. Now I am lying in the street, flopping around like an upside-down turtle, and off in the distance I can hear two people laughing their rear ends off. I think God is also having Himself a good time up in Heaven. I don’t blame Him, though, because I must have looked ridiculous.

No Classes: Yes, the truth comes out. I have never been happy because a class was cancelled. The whole thing throws off my entire morning. It is nice waking up to snow on the ground, but I do not like it when I check my email and find out there was no reason to wake up today. It is a strange feeling for me. I wake up early in the morning, ready to take on another day of classes, only to find out there are none. Now I have to change my entire homework schedule in order to get ahead on some upcoming assignments, because I might as well since I have all this free time. Also, I have to check Brightspace for any snow day assignments, because my professors thought it would be a good idea to make me do some random stuff to keep myself entertained while I am slowly buried in my own fluffy white grave.

All This Free Time: Once all of that scholastic garbage is out of the way, I still have several hours left in my day to do…what? I could play in the snow again, but I just did that last night because that was when the snow was falling. I could go to my DVD collection and see what I can find there, but all of these movies are too good to watch alone. I have already watched all of my “Top Gear” episodes again and again, I might accidently binge “Code Geass” and watch the whole day pass by, or I could watch “Aladdin,” but I have already seen it countless times and have it memorized. Either way, my free-time clock is ticking, so I need to act fast before my whole day of unwanted freedom is gone. Well, I guess I should start writing my next “What Grinds My Gears” article. Hmm…what should it be about, I wonder.

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