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Meet This Year’s Waltonian Editors
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Meet This Year’s Waltonian Editors

Lauren Murphy Editor-in-Chief Year: Senior Major/Minors: Youth Ministries/Biblical Studies and Theological Studies Words to Live By: “Life’s not a spectator sport.” –Laverne, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” If you were a superhero, what would your power be? Flight! Or the ability to enact world peace. Jordan Kolb Managing Editor Year: […]

Farewell Senior Editors!
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Farewell Senior Editors!

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The Waltonion “Philip Mudridge” Revealed: Dangerous Computer Virus

ST DAVIDS, PA – Last year the Walt-Onion revealed the shocking news that “Donna MacIntosh” is actually a high-functioning MacIntosh Apple computer. This year a new revelation is upon us: the true identity of Philip Mugridge. It has come to the attention of Eastern University administration that “Philip Mugridge” is […]

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The Waltonion: Trump Suspends U.S. Presidential Campaign for EU Presidency

WASHINGTON, DC — At a campaign stop at Eastern University’s Holy Week chapel, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump announced his plan to run for the Eastern University presidency after suspending his own campaign for the U.S. Presidency. Trump excited students during the hour-long service in which he introduced his new […]

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The Waltonion: Eastern Mobilizes Task Force to Remove Rogue Robins

ST. DAVIDS, PA — Robins. These little bundles of feathers have been appearing all over campus since the start of spring. Up until now they have meant us no harm, but recently they have started to fly inside and overpopulate the many buildings on campus. Some of the more shocking […]

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EU’s Unsung Hereos: Public Safety/Plant Operations

Public Safety Ryan: I know that the security officers do a lot – you run the shuttle, and I often see officers patrolling campus. Can you tell me more about security’s role? Jim: The shuttle is a big part of it. We get about 100 calls a day, and 60 […]

EU’s Unsung Hereos: Administrative Assistants
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EU’s Unsung Hereos: Administrative Assistants

If you have ever scheduled an appointment with a professor, or if you have ever had a meeting on the third floor of Walton, you have probably interacted with the administrative assistants. You may know one – or several – of the admin assistants. When you call a department to […]

EU’s Unsung Hereos: Librarians
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EU’s Unsung Hereos: Librarians

This place is a place of respite,” Joy Dlugosz, the Librarian for Public Services at Warner Library, says with a small smile. “Students come here for refuge, they come here for peace, they come here to study.” If you’ve walked into EU’s library, Joy’s sentiments ring true – aside from […]

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The Eastern Book-It List

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Humans of EU: Faith Edition